12. DON'T FALL OFF THE CAMEL AGAIN

THIS IS NOT A CAMEL

JUST FOR THE FUN OF IT

I am adding this post because, at this point, we all need a little laughter.  My (mis)adventures all over the world might give you a chuckle, and I want to give you some memories of me that you didn't have before.

CAMELS ARE MY ENEMY

After I became an airline employee in 1959, I started traveling all over the world on standby passes on international carriers every time I could string together some days off to use.  My first international trip was with my co-worker, Ruth Stein, from American Airlines.

Ruth was a highly educated (did her graduate work at the Sorbonne in Paris), right-brained, seasoned traveler who had already seen much of the world accompanying her parents.  Through her family connections, she had access to the managing editor of the Times of India.  She convinced me that my very first trip outside the USA should be to France, Egypt, Iran, and India.

This was similar to making a baby's first solid food a lobster tail with drawn butter.  I was already in shock moving to New York from Kingsville, Texas.  Then, our first stop was in Cairo, Egypt.  Ruth briefed me on how to dress in a Moslem country and a few basics on culture, politics, and food.

We sallied forth to try out the local sightseeing and ended up at Giza to ride on camels through the sand dunes to the pyramids.  "Piece of cake" was my immediate thought based on a childhood of placid ponies in Texas.  Wronggggg!  Nobody warned me that camels get up front first and then the back legs in a sudden jerking motion.  As soon as the camel started to stand up, I slid off the rump and landed in a bundle of ill-sorted clothing on the sand.

The rest of the adventure in Cairo for 3 days was fun and relatively uneventful.  Nothing had been hurt but my dignity.

ON TO INDIA:

Ish (from the Times of Delhi) had set up arrangements with families all over India where Ruth and I could stay as guests while studying local religions.  At that point in time, each of us planned to go back to school to work on a PhD in Cultural Anthropology.  This was why we had set up 3 weeks just in India, with only 3 nights in Cairo, 3 in Persopolis (Iran), and 3 in Paris for a total of 4 weeks away from work.

The families were selected by the Public Relations division of the Indian Government.  They picked some very affluent families from 5 cities to host us.  Because of my intended thesis project:  "Mystic Roots of World Religions", it was important to me to see the Farsis, Moslems, Hindus, Buddhists, and local  Christians (descendants of those originally converted to Christianity 2000 years ago).

One of the interesting ones was a Moslem family who owned their own camel.  The very first thing the son of the family wanted to do was treat Ruth and me to camel rides.  He neglected to tell me that his camel got up back first and then front.  Yes.  Right down the camel's neck and wham, onto the ground.

NOT ANOTHER CAMEL!

When we got to the next family, Hindus, we were just in time for the wedding of their son to a very eligible young woman, in a marriage brokered between the two families.  If you have never seen a full-scale Hindu wedding, ask friends who have friends who have relatives to get you an invitation.

In Agra, it started in front of the groom's family mansion where he boarded a large white horse to ride.  Preceding the horse, was an Indian trumpet band playing music, and behind them was the family on, you guessed it, elephants.

Well, at least it wasn't camels again, but this time, I had to negotiate wearing a very ornate silver embroidered mint green sari, I had to clamber aboard an elephant.  A sari is 6 yards of embroidered silk.  That's 18 FEET long and about 4 feet wide.  A woman wearing a sari has to wrap all that silk around the waist with very intricate finger made pleats in the front, jam the top of the material into a slip to hold it in place, and drape the end over her shoulder.    I am not sure the elephant sympathized with my plight as my feet tangled in the hem and sent me plunging into the howdah atop his back.  He suddenly shifted from one foot to another and if the uncle had not grabbed my arm, I would have sailed right out of the howdah and onto the elephant's head.

MOROCCAN CAMELS AND BERBER BARGAINING

Years later, my next encounter with camels was even more traumatic.  Jerry and I had traveled to Marrakech, Morocco just for the fun of seeing it.  We stayed at the famous Mamounia Hotel in a lovely suite overlooking the gardens of bougainvillea and feral cats and the swimming pool.

We had a chauffeured car for sightseeing and a guide fluent in English and French.  We asked him what was exciting to do there to see a lot more of the local culture.  He recommended the Auction held each Wednesday when the Berbers came down out of the Atlas Mountains to trade or sell their livestock.

In those days, I was blonde, much thinner, and lived in Manhattan.  And I knew all about the stable rentals in Central Park.  The thought of buying an Arabian horse was mind-boggling.  But, I might as well see them and dream a bit.

As soon as we reached the Auction grounds, I left Jerry and the driver amongst the goats, sheep, and camels and I took off at a run to see the Berbers showing off their horse to potential buyers.  The horses were all trained to knee commands so that the Berbers had both hands free.  This group was having a blast (literally) by firing old muskets in the air while taking the horse through intricate maneuvers.

THE BIG TRADE:

I looked across the field and saw Jerry haggling with a Berber chieftain (with the guide translating) and they kept pointing at the horses and me.  I thought, "OMG, he's negotiating to get me this horse!"
Then the chieftain stormed off and Jerry and guide starting laughing and gesturing me to get over there immediately.

We all jumped into the car and then Jerry and the guide totally lost it, bellowing with laughter.  "WTH is going on?  Do I get that horse or not?", I demanded.  "Oh no, madam, the horse was never in question.  It was the herd of camels.  The chieftain offered Jerry a half-dozen camels for you."
"WHAAAAT!  You were selling me for a herd of camels?".    The guide tried to pacify me, "Madam, never has a Berber offered that many camels for one woman."  And Jerry compounded it by musing that "those were fine looking camels, too...."

SMOKING CAMELS IS A GOOD THING FOR YOUR (ECONOMIC) HEALTH:

The last time camels crossed my horizon was when I was hired by the US State Dept. as a sub-contractor on a huge economic development project they were funding in Egypt in 1984.

They flew me from New York to Cairo in First Class in Egyptair.  Of course, all the businessmen were smoking the entire trip.  I was still smoking in those days so I didn't give it much thought at the time.

After we got settled in at the Cairo Hilton, we met with the Vice President of Egypt, the Minister of Tourism and the Minister of Antiquities.  We were charged with helping Egypt greatly expand and diversify their incoming tourism market base.  I was assigned to the Minister of Antiquities who stayed with me every day, showing me every form of Egyptology that they had been promoting to attract tourism.

I asked to see what their number one tourist attraction was, and he replied, "The pyramids and Sphinx".  "Well, let's go there and take a look," I requested.  "Maybe I can find something you have missed."   We arrived at the Pyramids early in the afternoon and, after alighting from the car, I saw that the only thing they really had for tourists was some rather sad looking souvenir stands and a few camels available for camel rides.

I still had painful memories of my attempt at riding one of those camels a quarter century before.  With age had come wisdom;  I turned down an opportunity to try it again.

We retreated into Giza and into the airconditioned lounge at the big resort there.  The sales manager of that hotel came out to join us and I asked him, "what's your current market base?  and what do you want more of?"  He said it was almost entirely business execs, government officials, and a few tourist there on package tours from North America and Europe.

So I asked, "Have you considered going after incentive groups from major corporations?  religious pilgrimage tours?  soft adventure (experience based) tours? and other possibilities.?".  They both replied, eagerly, "That's why we wanted you and your group to come here.  To steer us into areas we have missed."

THE HOLLYWOOD VERSION OF EGYPT:

"Let's start with corporate incentive contests for employees, sales staff, and distributors, with group travel rewards for winners:  here are copies of the brochures listing travel rewards currently being offered from two of the largest incentive houses in the US.  Notice the international locations they are currently using and what do you see as the common thread?  None of those countries are presented as they really are:  they are portrayed in the Hollywood version of their culture."

"For example, an American salesman who knows nothing about Egyptology or your history or anything about your current culture will not be motivated to work harder to earn points to win a trip here.  To start with, you need to give him CAMELS.  Just as Americans expect to see kangaroos bouncing down the main street in Sydney, Australia, they expect to see a lot of camels in Egypt."

"Where," he asked, "did you get that idea about camels?".  "Easy," I replied, "just look at the old Bob Hope Road movies and see how the Near East and the Middle East are portrayed, not to mention every other film, from "Casablanca" to "Lawrence of Arabia".  He still looked skeptical, so I whipped out my pack of Camels cigarettes and showed him the picture of a camel on the front of the package posed in front of an Egyptian pyramid!.  "See!  Smokers all over the world expect to come here and see pyramids with lots of CAMELS."

I made my point.  In the 1990's in one of the weeklong corporate executive seminars, I was hired by the School of Hotel Administration at Cornell University to teach, one of my 'students' was the sales manager from that hotel!  When I started in with my story about the camels and the pyramids to my seminar participants, he interrupted me and said he had brought pictures with him to share.

Imagine my amazement when he passed around the classroom a set of photos of the long entrance drive to his hotel lined by Bedouins (local Egyptian hotel workers) atop camels, firing muskets in the air and other "Hollywood inspired" activities at the resort which had made them a major player as an incentive travel reward destination